Monday, June 13, 2011

Getting Blocked From Your Work Computers In 3... 2... 1...

Bleeps, I'm pretty happy with the start of the Bird Flipper.  We've had a few laughs, I made some penis cookies, and Osama bin Laden got killed.  Overall, I'd call that success.

But... I may have started out a little too... I'm not sure how to put this... balls out?

Frankly, for a couple of months now I've been saving up the most outrageous stuff just in commemoration of the start of the The Bird Flipper.  Getting started with a bang, so to speak.  I'm sure I'll get all settled down into my usual posts of inappropriate farts and daily antics.  But who could resist a  post about thumbing your nose at the end of the world?

Also, despite the, ahhh... somewhat "colorful" reference made by my blog title, I do tone down the language.  I mean, when I say #$%* isn't it just a fun to insert your own favorite curse word?  Overall, I try to keep it mostly PG-13.

In fact, let's use this handy little tool to find out what indeed my blog should be rated? 

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

Well #$%&.  

I didn't see that coming.  Apparently I've already said the word "penis" 16 times.  Well, 17 now.  

Le' sigh.

Even my blog designer has a warning posted on her portfolio page.  "Warning: This blog not suitable for all audiences".  And she fuzzed the word "ass" out from my warning on the side.  Even my warning needs a warning.  

(Side note:  I really love my blog designer, Sheila.  I swear I'm not getting kick-backs to promote her.  I was very specific with what I wanted, and Sheila made my imagination come to life.  Plus, her rates are pretty much the best I've come across anywhere for quality work.  You might be surprised about what you can afford, if you're looking to spruce up your blog.  Tell her I sent you (so she won't be regretting being affiliated with me...)

Then... there's the advertisers.  I like advertising on my blog.  It motivates me to write more.  It's never much money... $10 here, $15 there... but when you have to buy diapers and alibis, every little bit helps.  I mean, those attorney's fees don't pay for themselves, am I right??

So, when I got The Bird Flipper up and running, I sent an email over to BlogHer (the main advertiser from my other blog Busted Plumbing), I expected to have a reasonably good shot at getting approved since I've had such a good relationship with them for about a year and a half.  

However, EXTREMELY promptly after I sent in my application, I got a very polite, very delicate response back.  

"Thanks so much for giving us the opportunity to review this blog. Unfortunately, we don't feel like it's a good match for BlogHer's network."

Subtext:  Seriously?  You actually applied?  You took a picture of a penis pinata, correlated your son's name with the f-word, and thumbed your nose at religion, all in the first three posts.  Our hands are pretty much tied here.

No offense taken, BlogHer. 

I shouldn't have been surprised, although I do dose out a fairly healthy bit of antics on Busted.  Maybe the whole "rapture" thing was going too far?

So, I applied for several other advertising programs.  Email after email of very polite, very curt, responses back.  "Your content is not compatible with our product" or "not a good match" or "we don't promote porn here, move along".

What I am left with?  Actual porn, probably.  And drinking.  And irreverent humor.  I don't think I've be promoting porn anytime soon (but with layoffs being the way they are, never say never), but drinking and irreverent humor I can do.

So, while I search for an advertising program who isn't worried about their reputation, please enjoy my two favorites... I actually own that t-shirt on the top.  Usually people stare at it for about 10 seconds, and then laugh.  I love American History humor!  And I'm saving up for the drinking jammies... (birthday present? if you're looking?)

PS:  I just made this blog mobile friendly!  So... when this blog gets blocked by your work computer, you can now read it on your smart phone.  Hurray!


Oak said...

That tool has to be broken. Because I can guarantee if it looked at anything other than the first page, my blog would have be X-rated. It put me at PG-13, super totally not right. So take solace in that, the tool is busticated.

52f5624c-95f0-11e0-be20-000bcdcb2996 said...

AWESOME <3 the shit out of you Kate!
Ps. your comment section hates me!

Kristen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yuppy Mom said...

Bad language? I never noticed. I must be watching way too much HBO again.

a field of dreams said...

My blog contains the C word and F word often and has no warning. You can do better. I dare you. Loving your "new" blog though.

Kir said...

I love this blog and I love that you get to say whatever you want's all good with me. I live vicariously through your words. ;)

Yuppy Mom said...

I tried the rating app yesterday. I also got a Restricted rating because I mentioned the words: breast, poop, and semen.

Mommy Boots (formerly KarmaPearl) said...

Google Ads dropped me like a bad habit because I reviewed a few sex toys on my blog. Eff you, Google, like I need your $15.00 in a year in a half. I feel your pain sister, it's hard to find sponsorship if you're a cussing blogger.